© 2016 MICHELLE LIVINGSTON

 

 CERTIFIED LIFE & WELLNESS COACH

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Stop Shoulding on Yourself!

August 1, 2016

Last post we were asked to change the word from "To" to "For" to help give a different, positive spin on events in your life.  Today we go from "Should" to "Want"

 

How many times in a day do you use the word "should?"   It makes us feel guilty and not in control of our lives.   A close relative of "should" is "have."  

"Should" and "have" are very victim-like words, sounding like we are forced, like we do not have a choice.  We always have a choice!

 

Here are some examples of how you can turn your perspective around on many of the "shoulds" and "haves."

 

Old:  I have to go to work tomorrow.  

New:  I want to go to work tomorrow so I can plan for my retirement and save for my child's college education.  I want to go to work tomorrow because I know I am making a difference by . . . 

 

Old:  I should go to the gym and workout today.  

New:  I want to go to the gym because my health is important to me.

 

Old:  I should clean house this weekend.

Hmmm!  How important is cleaning the house vs. other things that are more important to you?   Perhaps you prioritize or break down the task.  

New:  I want to clean the kitchen after I spend some time with my family at the park.  A clean kitchen allows a peaceful setting for cooking and family-bonding.

 

Old:  I should go to Susie's party on Saturday night.

New:  I want to spend the evening with my significant other on Saturday.  Susie will understand why I am not there.

 

Old:  I have to mow the lawn today after work.

New:  I want to have dinner with my colleagues after work and the grass can wait or I will call little Timmy down the block and pay him $20.

 

There are many ways to look at each circumstance or event and respond to them.  You will feel more powerful and in control of your life by changing your "shoulds" and "haves" to "wants."

 

Challenge yourself for the day to first count the "shoulds" and "haves" and then slowly start changing them to "wants."  Do you feel the difference?

 

 

 

  

 

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